I don’t mean to sound pompous, but when I set my mind to something, I normally get the job done.
If not the first time, certainly the second.
Sometimes the third.
No later than the fourth.
At least it doesnâ€™t take me 20 years. If I wanted to invade Ohio with an army of cronies, you can bet it wouldnâ€™t take me two decades of consistent and embarrassing failures.
The same simply canâ€™t be said for Bowser. Each of his feeble attempts to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom has failed, leaving him with little more than a legacy of consistent embarrassments by the hand of a plumber.
Except, of course, for attention and fame.
Despite scoring a proverbial goose egg of successful invasions, each of his attempts has been the subject of a multi-million-selling video game. His mug is printed on t-shirts, he races in the Star Cup Grand Prix and heâ€™s become a universally feared power hitter.
And maybe thatâ€™s the point.
Perhaps Bowser isnâ€™t seeking victory at all. Maybe heâ€™s after the attention that comes with the mere threat of his success, countering his deep-seeded feelings of insecurity by continually making himself the center of attention regardless of the outcome.
Weâ€™d interview him about it, but thatâ€™s exactly what he wants.