The crate game review system is ingenious

mms-nov-2007.jpgInfendo likes to criticize the standard 10-point game review system for taking itself too seriously. Is a game exceptional, good, average, or poor — that’s all what we really want to know.

But Old Man Murray devised a great way to critique video games — by how long it takes before the player encounters an uninspired power-up crate or barrel.

All games contain crates, therefore all games can be judged empirically on those crates. Once we came up with that insight, the actual formula for the world’s first completely unbiased review methodology was a trivial matter of applying our many hours spent watching actors portray scientists on television to our hatred of crates. Games can be rated and compared based on the shortest amount of time it takes a player to reach the first crate, which represents the point where the developers ran out of ideas.

We laugh because it’s funny, and we laugh because it’s true.