I don’t know about you, but when I think the Christmas holiday, I think bloody massacres. Typically, the ones that involve offing my adversaries with whatever is at hand. Like a trashcan or a road sign. So you’ll understand me when I say this little poem from Sega, set the words of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, is bloody brilliant.
Twas a night before DeathWatch, when all through downtown
Not a person was stirring, since being stomped to the ground.
The bodies were hung on the rosebushes with care,
In hopes that more enemies would soon appear.
Jack was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of beating hearts danced in his head;
Jack with a sign post, the Bull in a tire wrap,
Impaled and put down for a long winters nap.
When out at the train station there arose such a splatter,
Everyone ran to see what was the matter.
Towards the commotion, they flew like a flash,
A game show was announced, winners paid cash.
The moon in the breast of the newly-fallen blood-stained snow,
Gave the luster of mid-day to environmental weapons below.
When, what to my wondering dark eyes should sit
But a chainsaw, a spiked bat and daggers! OH @#!%
Well, maybe it’s not brilliant. But it’s bloody.