Wii wins innovation award for use of an "A Button"

LAS VEGAS — The Wiimote, a wireless motion sensing controller for Nintendo’s new Wii gaming console, has won an Emmy for innovation from The National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences for the use of an “A” button.

Chairman Dick Askin heaped praise upon Nintendo’s revolutionary new controller in a press release, saying the “A” button is an addition long overdue for gaming peripherals. “The fact that Nintendo was savvy enough to include it on their new controller is nothing short of innovation at its finest,” he said.

Other members of the Academy were said to have been “immensely impressed” by the fact that they were able to depress the “A” button and have a corresponding action take place on a television screen.

“Buttons on a controller? That control things on my TV? I thought I was going mad if not for all the uproarious fun I was having!” said an unnamed Academy member.

Executives from Sony, Microsoft and even Sega were visibly angered during a joint press conference that had been hastily assembled in the wake of the awards ceremony. In a statement, the three companies — two of which have consoles on the market today — said each had a system with plenty of buttons out on the market for longer than the Wii. “We have 14 buttons on our controllers, and each one corresponds with fun!” said a Sony exec. “And… and our tilt function can control gravity!”

Nintendo was nonplussed when reached for a response to the controller cabal of MS-Sony-Sega that had formed against them.

“Yeah, but previous A buttons were not extra big, clear and frickin’ cool looking,” responded Nintendo President Satoru Iwata in a statement from Nintendo. Iwata then proceeded to do a spin attack on a group of reporters who had congregated outside Nintendo of Japan’s Kyoto-based headquarters. There were no survivors.

[Thanks to Matthew for the inspiration, and of course to the innovative SIXAXIS controller for the rest]