The Wii is beloved by many, myself included. And a contributing reason may have been Nintendo’s unprecedented use of lifestyle photos, which turn the camera from televisions onto gamers, showing how much fun can be had playing Wii, as opposed to a screenshot you might not understand.
While nearly all of them do their job, some lifestyle photos look convincing. Most look pretty lame. But the following look flat-out ridiculous — the most-retarded-looking Wii lifestyle photos of all time.
Blue Steel fail
This lifestyle photo is the Two Face of lifestyles. On the left sits a smiley brunet, genuinely thrilled with whatever director notes are being shown. On the right, a fake blond forcefully attempts a Blue Steel, or maybe The Magnum — I can’t remember which. In any case, she looks absurd.
Dumb. I can only imagine what this would have looked like in the NES days. Being the recipient of the reset button while winning was never this fun. By the way, I also keep my Stratocaster perched next to my living room sofa at all times.
Comic book fail
I understand what Nintendo was trying to do here — I really do. The world had never seen such a capable controller until the Wii remote reared its motion-sensing, force-feedbacking, audible head. But did they really need to go all Batman with the graphics on this one? I suppose comics look “fun,” but seriously.
Creepy European gamer fail
If you’re one of our friendly European readers, feel free to change the above title to “Creepy Xbox Live gamer fail.” Whatever you are, there’s no denying this guy looks like a real douche.
“No, no. Look over here!”
This shot is amazing. Not only does it look preposterous, but the three actors are all looking at different objects. Two different TVs, I suppose, and Mr. Dazed and Confused is looking directly at the camera. What a twit.
Dumb and Dumber fail
Rule #1: Never use an actor that looks like Harry Dunne. Rule #2: See rule #1.
Needs more PokÃ©mon.
Live performance fail
Pictured above is the first live performance Wii lifestyle photo, courtesy of Nintendo’s E3 2008 press conference. A hot and sweaty M. Night Shyamalan lookalike plays Wii Music, and not very good from the sound of it. As one in attendance, I can’t tell you how embarrassingly uncomfortable the moment really was, other than “fail.”
Damsel in distress fail
This lifestyle pic, once used to promote Project H.A.M.M.E.R., displays wonderment never before seen on the face of a gamer. The game appears so “immersive,” in fact, that the player’s love interest must take cover behind her beau’s shield of a body, watching him befell giants like never before. Surly this photo-op alone could have saved the game, right? Nah.
Is this a JC Penny’s ad or a Wii Sports lifestyle shot? In any case, there is no possible way these youth could play tennis that close together. Hello?! Ever hear of a Wii-injury? Overcrowding for the loss.
Okay, this isn’t an actual Wii Lifestyle photo, but you can imagine how detrimental it would have been had Nintendo commissioned this goober to appear in an advertisement.
Grampa smells like beef and cheese
Without stating the obvious (pedophilia), this picture makes me uncomfortable.
Trying a little too hard, are we? It’s virtual golf, not a Caddyshack remake.
Playing Wii is not this tedious, I swear
Don’t worry. You really can play Zelda without looking like a tool. Fail.
I thought the server stood behind his double’s partner in tennis? And you’re suppose to serve the ball, not pitch it! And…, oh, this just looks so staged, it doesn’t even matter.
Believe it, grandma. The rotund Italian plumber you seen in front of you is actually living in your television set. Crazy, I know.
BONUS: The ideal Wii lifestyle photo
Now if every Wii lifestyle photo looked like this, it would all be gravy. Keep fighting the good fight, Miyamoto (so long as it’s not related to you know what).
TELL US: What’s the most ridiculous-looking lifestyle photo you’ve ever seen?