Reggie’s Nintendo trash is fool’s gold

As I was digging through Joystiq’s trash this morning as I am wont to do in my Monday morning daze, I discovered more Nintendo Wii-related news from Go Nintendo. As the Sept. 14 “special event” date draws near, I imagine that these types of things will become more and more regular as everyone and their dog clamors to be the guy or gal who breaks the big story, thus guaranteeing millions of page views until people move on a hour later thanks to the brevity and short attention span of the Internet. Unfortunately, today’s rumor is not one of those moments.

Today’s rumor is *directly* from the desk of Reggie Fils-Aime, or so says the tipster who sent in the confidential docs: “I noticed Mr. Fils-Aime putting something in the confidential waste bin, and walked over after he had left for a meeting.. the bin was full to the top as usual, and these screwed up pages were just in reach through the lid (without taking it off and spilling papers everywhere). There’s not much I can do to prove my credibility, however I think they may be of interest to you.” What’s that smell? It smells like the bathroom of a male cow. Strange…

Now, in my experience I’ve learned that people who say “There’s not much I can do to prove my credibility” have zero credibility. By using a bit of the ol’ reverse psychology — and a generous helping of Microsoft Word — they hope they can magically sound credible again. I would have preferred a DNA matched vial of Reggie’s blood as proof, but that’s just me. It’s a Monday though, so I’m going to conveniently dismiss the fact that people don’t usually list word for word what they are going to say in a speech, and they don’t usually crumple up confidential company trade secrets and toss them into the trash like they do on a Saturday morning cartoon. I applaud rumor, it makes the Net tick, but this is just a sad cry for attention. See also: spellchecker.