Nintendo Teases Us With Vague Announcement

Sometimes an announcement is made that tells us absolutely nothing, yet it gets more coverage than the confirmed release of a new game.  These “teaser” stories seem to happen when something big is about to happen, although I sometimes wonder if they are released to get candid feedback from gamers about what they want to see.

Nintendo Power contains one such teaser in the latest edition.  Below is the actually teaser.  What do you think it means?  Could it be upcoming E3 previews?  Could it be an actual confirmation of the Wii U release date?  Maybe a sequel to the Nintendo classic, joust?


“As summer approaches, Nintendo Power will start to heat up with some exciting new revelations in the June issue, including a cover story for the generations. Don’t miss it or you’ll rue your fate, comrade.”

20 Responses to Nintendo Teases Us With Vague Announcement

  1. wakko1337 says:

    Alright, let’s delve into this.

    Here’s what you’re working with, super sleuths. If you choose to accept this investigation, this is your evidence:

    The above image is definitely a map. The layout denies it being a vehicle or weapon, so this must be a design. Unless it’s a logo…then you have more work to do ^_^

    Key words here:

    “Revelations” This definitely isn’t about Resident Evil (or else it’d be spelled Revelaytons…amiright?) And this isn’t a word that just gets tossed around without meaning. They could have used words like “announcements,” “unveilings,”but they used “revelations.”

    “Generations” we’re talking about a wide length of time here. We can assume they’re talking about console generations, since this is a video game company after all…which means we can either imagine they’re talking about a first-party Nintendo game, or a third-party game that’s been left in the dust.

    “Rue” instantly gives a historic feel, or an aggressive fight feel.
    “Fate” same as above.
    “Comrade” Alright, they’ve pretty much told us that this is going to be a multiplayer fighting game. Perhaps a war game? (Yeah, right.)

    And the final two things…the colors. Red, and Black. Colors in magazines and advertisements are always connected to their meaning. This appears to be some sort of a gritty game, and if it’s a fighting game, probably has some decent amount of blood involved.

    And the font. I haven’t read Nintendo Power in ages (only old NES-era copies I nabbed at a yard sale) so is the “June 2012” font normally used? If not…what kind of game could it connect to?

    Good luck figuring this out! I have no idea what this could be. Lmao.

  2. wakko1337 says:

    But with my luck, watch them reveal something like Bubble Bobble XD

    Also one more thing I noticed, those blacker areas on the bottom of the red but in the upper-right area. The one is too man-made (it’s a damn square with other shapes on top of it) so could this be some sort of man made lake or area? Or maybe it’s not a map at all…maybe it’s an image, and those two blacker areas are something else entirely.

    Damn, I really shouldn’t have slept so well. I’m all deep-thinking now and whatnot XD

  3. nin says:

    something with Russia, perhaps?

  4. Essel Pratt says:

    I was going to reference Bubble Bobble at the end instead of joust, that is amazing that you brought it up! Someone mentioned that the map is similar to a map in Final Fight. I am not sure what this announcement will be, but I can’t wait to see what everyone else thinks it is!

  5. wakko1337 says:


    Get out of my head, bro. Thanks. XD

    But seriously though, I could see Final Fight. I could also see, but be horribly disappointed by, Heroes of Ruin, just from the word choice they used. Now we play the waiting game!

  6. Josh says:

    It’s some sort of Metal Gear game for Wii U that takes place in Russia?

  7. Fuzz says:

    Well, it looks like a map of USSR, its in red, and they say Comrade. So looking at a cold war game here.

    Its possible its a Tetris game, though that doesn’t seam big enough.

    Perhaps a submarine game.

    Most likely a war game of some sort. Perhaps anew Battalion wars, set in the clod war?

    Ooo, or Advanced Wars!

  8. wakko1337 says:

    ^Nice USSR connection there. Ooh…maybe they’re bringing back Iron Tank from NES!!!

  9. wakko1337 says:

    I had to pull up a map of USSR to reference…it’s SIMILAR, but too blocky. Maybe we’re getting an 8-bit game lol.

  10. Harrison says:

    “rue your fate, comrade.” Start the discussion at that quote. It’s obvious that Nintendo Power gave us the biggest hint right there. Now, what in God’s name does it connect to?

  11. snarksnark says:

    GTA IV port?

  12. cody says:

    it look like link with a bow or arrow on a horse or something. I can see his hat in the top right.

  13. wakko1337 says:

    ^I don’t see it.

    *looks again*

    “That’s no horse…that’s a space station!”

  14. Opie says:

    Umm…..possible something to do with Command and Conquer?

  15. Lord Lemmy says:

    Looks like a potato to me.

  16. Drahken says:

    Is there a problem with Bubble Bobble? That sounds great to me!

  17. Alvarou says:

    This is clearly te e3 floor layout…

  18. cmdg says:

    I don’t think it’s a map…to me the negative space surrounding the red is more interesting than the red itself. I can make out some shapes on the right side, maybe some buildings?

  19. mrsbonbon says:

    cyber punk zelda cyber punk zelda cyber punk zelda . . .

  20. nick says:

    it’s just battleship for DS ffs.

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