Life imitating Tecmo Super Bowl

According to columnist Clay Travis there has never been a greater sports video game than Tecmo Super Bowl. I’m not really into sports games other than Tiger Woods 2006 and Madden 2007 Wii (does Duck Hunt count?), so I’m inclined to agree.

Travis lists a plethora of life reasons (46 total) taught to him by Tecmo Super Bowl, some of which are only going to be funny if you really know why LT is god and why Phil Simms made of the biggest mistakes of his life in 1992.

Here are a few that had me chuckling this fine New England spring morning:

8. Despite everything you’ve heard about life being composed of a myriad of options, there are really only eight. Four involve passing and four involve running. If one of these options is not good enough for you, then move to Russia and take up communal farming, you communist pig.

16. There is no try … just pass or run.

17. Everyone is happy when they leave the hospital … even more so when they leave wearing a football uniform replete with pads.

27. Everyone has a male friend who always says something like, “I can’t believe you guys are sitting around playing this old video game again.” This person is not really your friend.

[Thanks B.K.!]