What is best in life?
Crush Your Enemies is a game that immediately had my attention the second I saw it on the Switch Eshop. Real Time strategy games are becoming increasingly rare on PC and are extremely rare on consoles so anytime one pops up its worth a look.
The story of Crush Your Enemies is relatively simple. You meet the protagonist Borg and his son Fuzgut and immediately it becomes clear that they have only one motivation and that is to do what every barbarian wants which is to crush their enemies and pillage villages. The story definitely doesn’t take itself too seriously and has a crude humor to it that resembles the humor of South Park. I found some of the jokes here and there made me laugh but most of them fell flat.
The campaign is made up of four different scenarios which primarily involve going from town to town and engaging in battles that have three main objectives which are necessary to achieve in order for you to advance. I had to go back multiple time to previous battle to complete one of the three battles objectives as each objective counts as a head on a pike and you need a certain number of these to unlock the next town. These objectives can range from being extremely easy to frustratingly hard and I noticed battles seem to largely follow that pattern as well. This is a decent way to spend a couple of hours but ultimately the main draw of Crush Your Enemies is going to either be its battles online or against a friend.
Gameplay can make or break a Real Time strategy game and it is a mixed bag here. You command your troops by using a grid as they move in real-time. There were quite a few times I felt frustrated by the controls making it difficult to select the specific space I wanted to send my troops too. It also seems like this game doesn’t know what it wants to be at times as certain gameplay mechanics are introduced but rarely used after their introduction. That’s not to say there weren’t times when I was having a blast with Crush Your Enemies when everything clicked just right.Taking control of buildings in the major objective and all the buildings have their own unique purpose such as a hut which recruits the games basic units called simpletons and various barracks that let you change your troops into archers or warriors.There are also elements introduced in here like gathering wood to build and raising live stock to recruit but these aren’t fully embraced and only show up for a few maps and campaign battles.